This morning I had about half an hour before it was time to start getting ready for work. Decided to use it to water the lawn and the plants for a bit. While I was squatting down watering a potted plant on the ground, I felt something tickling my leg just below my knee. I Thought maybe something had crawled up there so I put my hand up my pant leg and felt around. Didn’t feel anything and the tickling went away so I just figured it was some stray leg hairs or something. I finished my watering and came inside to take a shower.

As I was taking off my belt, I felt something rough inside my pants near the top of my butt. I put my hand back there and all of the sudden something bit me hard on my right cheek. I tore off my pants as fast as I could. Standing there in my birthday suit, I looked back at the big red mark on my ass that was starting to burn and throb. I thought maybe it was a bee or something.

“Damn, that’s really starting to hurt!”

I moved my pants around a little hoping to shake whatever it was out and find out what got me. Nothing was coming out.Then, all of the sudden from the folds of the denim emerges a giant dragon. OK, it was actually a centipede but it looked like a dragon at the moment. About five inches long. Those things are mean.

While most bugs and spiders don’t want anything to do with you, the centipedes here are fearless and known for charging directly at people and carrying off small children (ok, so that last bit isn’t true, but I wouldn’t put it past them if they could).

I grabbed one of my trusty boots and smashed that sucker ’til he was dead.

I’ve heard more horror stories about centipede bites than I could recall at that moment. “It’ll make you sick for weeks…” “…It swelled up the size of a baseball…” “…she had to have a skin graph…”

I had flashes of what of venom-ridden horrors may lay ahead. I called my boss. He’s a local, he’ll know what to do. Mostly he just laughed at me. Heh. Then he told me if I wasn’t allergic to them he didn’t think there wasn’t really anything to worry about. Hell, I don’t know if I’m allergic to centipede venom.

Just to be sure my internal organs weren’t about to liquify, I called poison control. The lady was really nice. She said there wasn’t much I could do about the pain. She also told me that it’s very rare, but if it started swelling really big, or I got nauseous, a bad headache, dizzy etc that meant it was extremely serious and to call her back right away. She also said that these often get infected, and if it does I’ll need to go to the doctor and get some antibiotics. She was more comforting than my boss at least lol.

Anyway, to make a long story short (too late), I took a shower, got dressed and went to work. The pain and swelling mostly subsided after a while. I still have two red holes in my cheek about a centimeter apart, one where each fang sunk into me. I count my lucky stars. If I had to have one of these guys crawling around in my pants, I guess my ass is the best place I could have taken the hit. Criminy.

-*-

Driving home tonight after work I was thinking about the incident. I thought about the way the centipede looked when he crawled out of my pants (now removed from my horror of the moment). It looked like he didn’t know where to go or what to do. I had the thought that he was probably just scared and trying to find his way out of my jeans when I stuck my hand back there and freaked him out. I felt bad for killing him.

I don’t like to kill things if I don’t have to. Spiders have free reign in my house for the most part. When I see one build a new web in a corner of the bathroom, I might name him Henry or Sir Charles or Betty and talk to them when I’m in there. If one looks particularly threatening, I’ll scoop her up in a glass and relocate her outside.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m a meat eater and I’m not loosing any sleep over the death of my assailant. He was a predator in my house (let alone my pants). I thought it interesting though to have such a different perspective from the total satisfaction I got out of smashing it into oblivion earlier in the day, asking it how it liked me now and flexing at it.

Of course if the centipede was 140 lbs and I was 0.5 ounces (shiver), he would have smashed me.

Reminds me of the movie “The Fly” with Jeff Goldbloom

Seth Brundle: Have you ever heard of insect politics? Neither have I. Insects… don’t have politics. They’re very… brutal. No compassion, no compromise. We can’t trust the insect. I’d like to become the first… insect politician. Y’see, I’d like to, but… I’m afraid, uh…
Ronnie: I don’t know what you’re trying to say.
Seth Brundle: I’m saying… I’m saying I - I’m an insect who dreamt he was a man and loved it. But now the dream is over… and the insect is awake.
Ronnie: No. no, Seth…
Seth Brundle: I’m saying… I’ll hurt you if you stay.

Having compassion for a compassionless creature is truly a good way to be. A rare and venerable human trait that brings about a very old and very human grey area - When the insect is awake and he’s in your pants, you gotta do what you gotta do.

Here’s an example of a simple symbol. It’s not going to knock any socks off but I think it’s a good example of how basic information about a target might be conveyed. A clip from a session I did about 15 minutes ago:

Right. Not much to look at, is it?

Notice though, eight marks situated in a circle.
Eight soldiers kneeling in a circle.

This is typical of the language of the mind. I think it’s things like this that if I can learn to analyze properly and consistently, can eventually contribute to some very effective remote viewing.

I’ve been thinking about some other things that seem to stifle viewing efforts.

Fear appears to be a given aspect aspect of psi-blocks. Another, not unconnected from it is belief systems. This was something else that was suggested to me by a viewer friend of mine which I dismissed out of hand as having anything to do with standing between myself and high-level psi functioning.

“There is nothing in my beliefs that could be preventing better psi in me. I’ve had psychic experiences throughout my life! I’ve always believed this is how it’s supposed to work!” I said. Heh. Closer examination of myself revealed some surprising insights…

I’m not just speaking of large-scale religious and philosophical beliefs, but of course those are paramount also. I’m talking about beliefs on a micro scale as well as macro. It’s a big subject. One I’m not qualified to tackle here. I will say that Jane Roberts’ Seth book, “The Nature of Personal Reality” has opened up some awesome perspective for me in regards to beliefs and how they directly affect experience. I highly recommend it.

-*-

One thing that didn’t dawn on me for quite some time (yeah, I’m a little slow haha), is the factor of a natural barrier. Built in as just part of how we work.

Ingo Swann writes in “Everybody’s Guide to Natural ESP”:

“It seems that, somehow, the human is constructed so that there are natural barriers between consciousness and an overwhelming influx of second-reality information. Otherwise, our consciousness would be inundated, as if listening to a thousand radio and TV channels simultaneously. We cannot imagine how we would be able to function without these natural barriers.”

Makes sense. It’s for our own good, so our fragile psyche doesn’t get fried like sending 21.1 gigawatts through a 60 watt light bulb. It’s inherent and aside from obvious exceptions, generally only lets though information that affects personally important things like survival or the well being of a loved one. At this point we can probably imagine how this natural barrier construct, fear and belief systems are all interconnected and interactive.

Maybe the fear is deeply rooted in self preservation like a natural reflex. Granted there is a good deal of learned fear at work there too but it stands to reason that the idea of being mentally destroyed by over exposure to a level of psychic data beyond comprehension would contribute to an automatic subconscious fear as well. Kind of like pain-response, natural and built-in to prevent damage.

Who knows. Maybe I’m off the mark here. Just some stuff I’ve been thinking about. To me though, it begs attention to the “un-learning” that Yoda and McMoneagle refer to.

Yes, I just referenced the teachings of a muppet. I’ll quote the truth wherever I find it, thank you.

-*-

All these ‘blocks’ and ‘barriers’ pretty much boil down to one thing.

Psychology.

In the same interview with Mr. McMoneagle referenced in part 1, he was asked:

Q: “How much of ‘psi talent’ do you think is really a matter of psychology allowing/accepting psi?”

A: “All of it.”

Ponder that as you will. It’s past my bedtime. And may the force be with you.

-serious

I’m pretty good about regular practice. For me, it has to be every day, several times a day. It’s awesome. I can sit and view for literally hours without a break except to take care of nature. One session to the next, I can’t seem to get enough of the experience. It’s a rush when a sketch matches the target. The feeling of accomplishment when I learn something new or get an idea about how this or that might work. It’s addictive. It’s satisfying. I can maintain this momentum for months on end. No sweat.

Then it happens.

Resistance. Pointed avoidance. It’s time to sit down and practice and I conveniently come up with a billion and one things that I “need to do real quick first.” My level of interest hasn’t changed. I still think about it all day. I’m still passionate about it while I sit there clipping my toenails when I should be viewing. The worst part (or it could be the best part, I’m still not sure) is I’m fully aware of what’s happening. I know perfectly well that I’m giving in to some little part of me that’s pouting in the corner with his arms crossed saying “I don’t wanna!”

But I do wanna. That’s why it doesn’t seem to make any sense.

This occasional inner conflict struck me as quite odd until I heard other viewers mention it too, and began to get more of an idea more about what might be going on internally with consistent RV practice.

“I think it has a lot to do with fear of psi…” one of my viewer friends told me.

I wasn’t buying it. My response went something like: “Pwah! Fear?! That’s ridiculous! Why would I spend most of my free time doing something that I’m afraid of? My entire life is peppered with paranormal experiences. The idea that I’m afraid of being really good at RV is the silliest thing I’ve heard!”

Not long after that I had a dream.

A voice asked me if I was ready to be a world class remote viewer. I said, “I’m ready!” I felt it coming. Like my awareness was about to be blown wiiiide open. Hard to put into words, but I can tell you it felt BIG. Like minding your own business surfing 6 foot waves and then seeing a 70 foot wall of water coming towards you at 50 mph. Confident me from two seconds ago was now saying “Wait-”

Okay. Point taken. Jeez.

Acknowledging it in myself and being more aware of it may not make it go away, but helps with understanding myself more. Pinpointing areas that may need more attention. Recognizing it when symptoms show goes a good ways towards handling it better. Any twelve step program will tell you the first step is admitting you have a problem. Haha.

From a 2002 interview with Joseph McMoneagle:

Q: “There’s been talk about subconscious ‘fear of psi’ relating to the common decline-effect and contributing to why so few end up ‘world-class’ remote viewers like yourself. What do you think? Is there really such a culture-wide fear of psi? Do you think people realize they’ve got it? (Many viewers discussing it online say it’s not a problem for them.) If you think this is an issue, how would you suggest viewers address dealing with this?”

A: “If someone says this is not a problem for them - I would say they have never communicated with their unconscious mind. It’s a major issue, and one that never goes away. It’s a fear that is not just culture wide, it’s pervasive in all cultures. It speaks to the dark side for most. It’s an uncomfortable window to ‘things we shouldn’t have access to.’ There are no suggestions for dealing with it - since there is no way of truly conquering it. It’s one more battle that is constantly waged in doing RV - a battle you sometimes win and sometimes don’t.”

If you look at modern psychology, one of the first suggested methods of dealing with a fear is desensitization. Gradually exposing a person more and more to what they’re afraid of. In remote viewing, that equates to -you guessed it- constant practice. Even with that, as Mr. McMoneagle stated it’s a never-ending battle.

Usually my avoidance/resistance to viewing hits hard in two predictable places. I can almost set my clock by it.

1) When I go a couple days without viewing.

Due to the nature of my job, once in a while I’ll have a couple days of 16-18 hour shifts. I come home lucky to make it to my bed before I’m asleep. If I do manage to sit down and try to view, it quickly becomes an exercise in ZzzRV. Almost always when I take a break from viewing (usually involuntarily) it’s so hard to get back to the level of practice I want and need. The moment I give it an inch, I’m a mile behind. The door is slammed shut and has to be pried back open with a crowbar. Half the time it feels like starting all over again from square one to get back where I was. Some viewers say taking a break helps them. Heh. Lucky them. I don’t seem to be wired like that.

2) When I have a knock-my-own-socks-off session.

If I do a session that is fairly amazing to me, I can almost be sure the next one I do will suck rocks. I’m not the only one who’s noticed this about their viewing. I’ve heard the same thing from several others. Appears to be a fear response. I think this is another reason why Ingo and McM stress “quitting on a high.” In addition to the benefits as known in learning-theory, it gives the unconscious a chance to deal with the initial shock response of a high-level psi experience and appears to lessen the related defense mechanisms.

When this avoidance starts to kick in, there’s nothing that will help short of grabbing myself by the scruff, sitting down and making myself view. Then doing it some more, and some more, and… Until finally I’m back to my normal addictive self who can’t imagine avoiding anything so fun, challenging and intriguing.

Charles Tart has an interesting article on the subject.
You can check it out here.

Fear seems to be only one aspect of the larger entity of psi-barrier though.

Part 2 - ahem…crowbar please